Finding Calm ── Alternatives to Venting Anger

 

The online publication and news source featuring scientific research, discoveries, and outcomes, Science Alert, published this last year concerning anger ── 

Venting Doesn’t Reduce Anger, But Something Else Does, Study Says

Venting when angry seems sensible. Conventional wisdom suggests that expressing anger can help us quell it, like releasing steam from a pressure cooker.

But this common metaphor is misleading, according to a recent meta-analytic review. Researchers at Ohio State University analyzed 154 studies on anger, finding little evidence that venting helps. In some cases, it could increase anger.

“I think it’s really important to bust the myth that if you’re angry you should blow off steam – get it off your chest,” said senior author and communication scientist Brad Bushman when the results were published in April.

“Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there’s not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory.” 

That doesn’t mean anger should be ignored. Reflection can help us understand why we get mad and address underlying problems. It can also aid emotional validation, an important first step towards healthily processing emotions. 

Venting, however, often goes beyond reflection into rumination. The study suggests that many people also try to exorcize anger with physical exertion, which can offer health benefits but may not lighten the mood in the moment. 

The studies reviewed included a total of 10,189 participants, representing a variety of ages, genders, cultures, and ethnicities. The findings show the key to curbing anger is reducing physiological arousal, the authors say, from anger itself or from the otherwise beneficial physical activity it might inspire. 

“To reduce anger, it is better to engage in activities that decrease arousal levels,” Bushman said. …

“I wanted to debunk the whole theory of expressing anger as a way of coping with it,” explained Kjærvik. “We wanted to show that reducing arousal, and actually the physiological aspect of it, is really important.” …

“It was really interesting to see that progressive muscle relaxation and just relaxation in general might be as effective as approaches such as mindfulness and meditation,” Kjærvik said. … 

Rather than trying to vent anger, the researchers recommend undermining it by turning down the heat. 

(https://www.sciencealert.com/venting-doesnt-reduce-anger-but-something-elsedoes-study-says, retrieved 19 August 2025).

God’s living word teaches us concerning self-control ──

“Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.” – Ecclesiastes 7:9. 

“Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7:5. 

Now, while our beloved Apostle Paul didn’t write this concerning anger in general, the principle is very applicable. 

King Solomon ── the wisest man of his time, in his proverbs ── 

“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly.” – Proverbs 14:29.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. 2) The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. … 18) A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention.” – Proverbs 15:1-2, 18.

We should also not transgress the Law of God while we are angry ── 

“Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah.” – Psalm 4:4. And the Apostle Paul added, “do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” – Ephesians 4:26. 

I practiced this last Sunday while my wife and I were hosting her birthday gathering. There were a lot of friends and family, and it was a bit overwhelming for me. I politely excused myself as they were out on the lanai and in the pool swimming ── went into our bedroom, gave myself to prayer and meditation and stillness upon our bed for a little while. And then came back out.

There’s the old adage ── never go to bed angry. Being angry and transgressing the Law of God (1 John 3:4) can place you in the path of Satan, the Devil, to tempt you because of your lapse in self-control.

Some people allow the wrong kind of pride to take hold and are just arrogant and opinionated ──  

“An angry man stirs up strife, And a furious man abounds in transgression. 23) A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.” – Proverbs 29:22-23.

Certainly, when we are confronted by such people, the Apostle Paul admonished us to be ── 

“casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself [including a person that places themselves on a pedestal as being something they most certainly are not!] against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity TO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5. 

Yes, avoidance and self-control even of our thoughts! 

The Apostle Paul also ── under divine inspiration of God’s Spirit ── 

“BEWARE, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; 13) but exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 14) For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence STEADFAST to the end, 15) while it is said: ‘Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.’” – Hebrews 3:12-15. See also Hebrews 4:7. 

Speaking of Korah’s Rebellion ── Numbers 14:1-16:35. Some claim to be followers of our Lord Jesus Christ who think they can do a better job leading God’s people. Some 1,500 years later, the Apostle Jude records a strong warning about such men who come into God’s Church as false teachers, arrogating to themselves the authority of God and His living word ──

“WOE to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily in the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah.” – Jude 1:11. 

Also, there are those people who allow a “root of bitterness” to take hold, and it begins to grow ──

“Pursue peace with all people [including those who would be considered enemies], and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15) looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” – Hebrews 12:14-15.

We must learn, brethren, how to get along with all people. Forgive those who have wronged us. Not getting along with a family member’s boyfriend/girlfriend may strain other familial relationships, making you look like the “bad guy.” This strain can cause additional underlying issues ── such as anger. 

Now… whether you have been one who has allowed a “root of bitterness” to grow, or one with anger issues. Might I suggest you take an anger test? Here’s one from Psychology Today ── Anger Management Test. Below is how I did. I need improvement.          

The Apostle Paul wrote ──

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13. 

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but GOD IS FAITHFUL, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13. 

Yes, take this simple and free test and see how you do. We can certainly all improve and work on not harboring angry or hateful thoughts and actions. 

Let us always remember what our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, tells us ──  

“ … ‘ love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45) that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; …’” – Matthew 5:43-45.

Brethren, we should not let every real or imagined disrespect make us angry to the point that we lose self-control.

Despite our personal flaws, we all need to be striving towards perfection ── which includes anger management. □  

Forgiving Others ── Even If They’re Not Sorry

As true Christians, are we to be merciful and forgiving?

Yes.

“The merciful man does good for his own soul, But he who is cruel troubles his own flesh.” ── Proverbs 11:17.  

Our Lord Jesus Christ tells us, “’ Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offenses come!’” – Matthew 18:7. 

As far as having mercy and forgiveness for someone who is unremorseful, the Apostle Luke, under divine inspiration of God’s Spirit, wrote ── 

“There were also two others, criminals led with Him to be put to death. 33) And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. 34) Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’” – Luke 23:32-34. 

Our Lord and Savior looked down at the Roman soldiers who were gambling for His clothes; the criminals on the crosses on either side of Him were reviling Him; and the religious leaders were mocking Him. Surrounded by this unremorseful lot, our Lord Jesus speaks to Father, ‘Forgive them, for they know not what they do.’

Unmatched mercy and love.

Friends ── we are to imitate our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ──

“Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 11:1.

“For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps.” – 1 Peter 2:21.  

The LORD God (the Elohim; the family of God, which at this time consists of God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ) is the most MERCIFUL ──

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.” – Psalm 103:8.

FORGIVENESS AND MERCY MIRROR THE VERY CHARACTER OF GOD. Our Heavenly Father is truly a forgiving Father. And, we must be His forgiving and merciful children.

Mercy is an integral part of God’s living and eternal word. Mercy and forgiveness are important to the LORD God ── and They want us to know this. And this is why God’s living word teaches about these two important traits of God’s character.  

Our Lord Jesus speaks of mercy ──

“’ But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36) THEREFORE be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.’” – Luke 6:35-36. 

 The Apostle Paul speaks of mercy ──

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us.” – Ephesians 2:4.

Let us notice that love and mercy are tied together. Because if you want to properly develop love towards others, you need to be merciful ──

“’ Blessed and the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.’” – Matthew 5:7.

Brethren, Friends, and Co-Workers in Christ ── in what is called the Beatitudes, notice that this promise doesn’t say that the unmerciful will obtain mercy.

Everyone needs mercy ── “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” – Romans 3:23.

Our Lord Jesus warns ──

“’ How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you ignore the important things of the law ── justice, mercy, and faith. …’” – Matthew 23:23, NLT. 

Mercy is extremely important ── and sadly, a great many who believe that they are worshiping God have the wrong priorities.

Notice this from the Apostle Paul ──

“For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” – Colossians 1:9. 

I continue to pray daily for those that have wronged me ── asking our Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus to fill them with the knowledge of Their will and wisdom, and for them to spiritually understand their error.

Continuing ── 

“that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11) strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12) giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light.” – Colossians 1:10-12. 

Suffering long includes being able to forgive those who have wronged you. 

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13) bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14) But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” – Colossians 3:12-14. 

Sadly, so many ── including some true Christians ── don’t want to forgive and let go.

It is for our benefit, brethren, to forgive. We need to forgive and trust in the LORD God to properly punish those who have wronged us and have not repented. 

The LORD God is the ultimate Judge. 

The LORD God is merciful. And we need to thank Almighty God for this mercy ──

“ … Mercy triumphs over judgment.” – James 2:13.  

We, brethren, should be exercising the fruits of God’s Spirit to become more like the LORD God!  

And yes ── it is difficult to forgive someone who has committed the most heinous of crimes. But, we should remember that it is Satan the Devil, who has deceived the whole world ── Revelation 12:9. Some people might be possessed by an evil spirit who commits such atrocious crimes. I do indeed believe in evil spirits, but I also believe in the reality of mental illness. I don’t think that they are the same (cf. Mark 6:13). Some mental health symptoms appear to the untrained eye as demon possession. Distinguishing the difference is important. 

Again ── the living words of God, “ … forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32. 

Let us never forget ── God has a Master Plan from the beginning! And, do not ever think that people are “getting away” with such heinous crimes. Notice what our beloved Apostle Paul wrote ── 

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8) For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption [or rather, death], but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” – Galatians 6:7-8. 

Sowing to the Spirit of God includes forgiving and having mercy on those who have wronged us.

Consider that all people will be judged by the LORD God ──

“For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18) Now ‘If the righteous one is scarcely saved, Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?’ 19) Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.” – 1 Peter 4:17-19. 

 As true Christians, we need to forgive one another ── again ──

“ … forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32. □